lanzarote iii.

lizard pulse pathos 

and egrets on the gravel cut

fling a ring around the thing 

regret declined burrata 

fact checked on carbon i rediscover 

archaeomagnetic dating,

did you know the poles

will switch

and north will

become south.

prohibito biciclette

celestial waves 

lapping rusty mounds 

baps boobing

a breasty boundary 

round emphysema 

cowboy country 

before i went on the bike holiday i’d had a period of poor health that culminated in a trip to the hospital and a spinal tap. i was on medication for migranes, but it made me sluggish and slowed my heart rate down, so i started the last climb of the day a bit ahead of my pals in case i struggled. i was fine, but i got lost and had to reroute my way back and i went over some very sketchy ‘gravel’ roads. quite stressful. being lost in the desert alone is not what i hope for.

lanzarote ii.

el grifo abandonado, 

aquapark de los muertos 

pizza tres quesos, 

no blue, 

snide salad.

poolside morning yoga 

and think about the future

fall asleep in my clothes

fresh from the waffle shop boys

sick in the toilet at midnight 

maybe thanks 

to the waffle shop boys

i eat a lot of cake on cycing holidays. on this occassion, i think the late night waffle after dinner was a refined carbohydrate too far.

lanzarote i.

exhausted by the tyranny of choice, 

unable to sleep

four alarmed hours, 

panic 

then mile-high boredom.

bad pizza is still kinda good, 

parched stroll less soo

cacti burrito, 

a visage 

of the village 

in the mirage…

reinforcements parachuting in

petulant torrents of surf, 

energía de la patata grande

pumice piss, 

curtain of cliffs 

and scattered sand 

past the chain-gang (squared)

by fag ash straits 

of jagged lava, 

literal poetry in motion

i’m not much of a photo person. i’m not sure why, as i have total aphantasia which means i cannot see anything in my mind. i can’t just look once at the view and recall it forevermore.

maybe i should. but this disability has meant my internal world has always been dark and wordy. so when i’m on holiday, i like to record the holiday in poetry. this short series describes my cycling holiday with friends in lanzarote last year.

why i support scottish independence but only if i get to be in charge

i long to modernise scotland
to the revue of my imagination
to restrict actors to a single role
depiction in our nation
and making them legally change their name
to the one they portray in fiction
punishable by death
and claiming global jurisdiction
then i will reduce the toothbrushing time
from two minutes to 90 seconds
and thus sanction my cohort
to luxuriate over breakfast
then i will retire to
the camper-van i’ll embezzle
proud of my augmentation of
our cultural endeavour

this won’t make me especially popular but i don’t support scottish independence. i think we live in an age of empires. that sovereignty is meaningless in an era where the usa might invade greenland. i don’t think independence will make the average voter more powerful. we should accept our powerlessness and work towards global government within whatever existing supranational structures available to us.

but if independence does happen, i would like to be president and these are my main policy priorities.