wales iii

swings and roundabouts
like a crash test dummy
humming a christmas song
i guess i feel like i’m one of the uncles
from home alone
all our kisses are stolen
kids voices climb the stairs
white hairs in my moustache
catch the light in the morning mirror
visit the folly hotel of portmeirion
lily pads and various trees
a beach that doesn’t reach the sea
sleep in and miss the hike
overdosed on the house party life

portmeirion is a weird place. i got an ice cream. looked at the vast beach. thought about cockle related tragedies. in a way, every cockle collected is a small tragedy. for the delicious cockle.

wales ii

we pick brambles by nebo
up the lane from nazareth
hold a toddler up a boulder
you know slow is not
intrinsically good or bad
park the motor
don’t feed the metre
get a parking fine
waitrose cafe
avocado experiment
waitress seems
amazed it didn’t kill me
free tuna baguette
because they made one extra
if only they had a supermarket
in which to merchandise it

i just realised that if we just increase taxes on everyone that increases the share of money going to the government which decreases the amount of money available for other things. so increasing taxes is a better way of dealing with inflation than raising interest rates. it’s much fairer. and instead of people defaulting on their mortgages, the government will have money to spend on cycle lanes and mental health care and other great stuff!

wales i

the principality of wales was formed
when the warring territories of
upper wale and lower wale
were conquered by invading sea mammals
who imposed order
then retreated to the sea,
leaving wales
as one of the few
truly plural countries
available for rule
by english land mammals
and a bucolic spot for a holiday.

i went to wales on holiday with my girlfriend’s family and i wrote nonsense poetry and i had a great time. even when my girlfriend made me run a half marathon off-road at tempo. then make dinner for her entire family from the ottolenghi cookbook. happy memories.