my pre-millennial childhood

o index finger
like a long toe
my pinky also
unusually small
little wonder
my handwriting’s unclear.
correction fluid
another go, please
i subtract seven letters
and get left with rect o fud
register my domain
with the nineties web dial up
to bravenet guestbooks
and fansites and bandsites
try and capitalise
on the dot com boom
all you need is a brand
profits will come soon
the scars of hubris
are born by us
inferior designers
and i wear them fine

i’m not sure if my little pinky actually has any impact on my handwriting. but if you remove enough letters from the ‘correction fluid’ we had in lieu of tip-ex in school, you could make it say rectofud. so they nearly all said this. pass me the rectofud, one might say, after an egregious spelling error.

as a 13 year old boy, i thought, i will set up a record label called rectofud. i made the website. it was the dot com boom. i figured that was all i needed to do to make my millions. it was fun anyway. the web was new and exciting and fun and i had my own little place on it, before myspace and bebo came along and gave everyone their own little webpage and none of my school friends had any need to post on the rectofud guestbook any more.

but i ask, what app is it on which i will find this so called authentication code, and chorus

krypton factor
authenticity
villification code
is this landing?
is this a story
that needs to be told?
chat gpt
thinks my poetry sucks
well, shucks
i was promised strong and stable

get tucked in for the gilet years
keep it strong and stable
despite hopes and fears
a pudding waits
at the end of the repast
let’s hope we get there
at last

remember the world before you needed to have a million apps on your phone? i had the original apple ipod touch. it was an incredible device. you had to jailbreak it to install any apps that weren’t the apple defaults. but it already had a web browser and email and that was enough to be perfectly useful.

remember the even better world before camera phones? there are so few photos of me prior to about 2008. and the world is probably better for that. man i hate having to pose for a photo. or stopping to take a photo. remember when taking a selfie used to be embarrassing?

man i am so old. anyway, off to take a mirror selfie to post to instagram. sorry for the grumpy. please take photos and use apps if you enjoy it. the phone has changed me too. now i merely lurk on flame wars on reddit rather than engaging in them on bb forums.