chaos vikings marchin’ under summer’s radiation

space tunnel violinist, what did we do to you?
reflect on convalescence’s end, my reaction improved

i’d just finished a period of convalescence. a period of autistic burnout. had processed some things, felt a bit better about them, had some regrets, but by and large i was starting to feel a bit better after a rough stretch.

meanwhile, my girlfriend was off running one of her scandinavian marathons. fortunately this activity doesn’t involve me. i love to run but 42 km seems like too much of a good thing. i ran 10km yesterday and spent a few hours working on a song and i’m absolutely beat this morning. we all have different energy i suppose.

i am perhaps the space tunnel’s biggest fan. it is a tunnel (through space) that connects the scottish events campus to the exhibition centre railway station. not sure why they didn’t rename the railway station when they renamed the exhibition centre 🤷‍♂️ anyway, not sure what the violist wanted revenge for, but he set about it mercilessly.

unrelated: the knot in my chest will spring from my mouth and rip out my guts

i have alexithymia. basically i spent most of my early life feeling desperately anxious without really knowing it. just learned to ignore the signals my body sends. i often don’t eat until late in the day. i would probably die of thirst if it wasn’t for the fact i need caffeine to motivate me to do anything in the morning. but eventually the stress breaks through in a way even i notice and i enter burn out. i was getting close to that point when i wrote this line.

have you ever suffered from burn out? are you burned out right now?