a day without contact, 

perhaps it’s really passed

two, three… many vietnams. 

now detente, 

defcon four, defcon five

cooled down conflict. digging trenches.

trying to stay alive

love is unconditional, but trust can be lost

a provisional impasse that can’t last

defcon three, defcon two

don’t turn the dial to first

but good souls have forgiven worse

this was the beginning of the lost weekend. a two month long weekend. i was in the depths of my postdiagnosis identity crisis. i suspect i was insufferable. my diary entries were long and messy.