so i push through the pain in warm air for a buzz later

we endure pain now for pleasure later. we feel pleasure now for pain later. it’s funny that. are there things that feel good now and lead to feeling good later too? lovemaking springs to mind. as long as the contraception works. and of course things that feel bad and have bad consequences. but why can’t more things be like lovemaking? fun and good for you. i suppose my poetry is a bit like that too.

i used to dream often about delayed gratification. dreams where i would endlessly shop but never check out. or find money on the ground, an infinite amount, and spend the dream picking it up but never spending it.

how do you know when to stop picking up the pennies and to start spending them?

any task, i’ll find a way to do it / my first instinct may be wrong but given infinite time…

i actually said this in a job interview many months later. and got the offered the job. i am quite an anxious person. full of doubt. and things don’t tend to come easily to me. despite this, i do sort of believe i can do anything if i keep trying. hence i’m learning piano in midlife and recording an album of spoken word poetry and trying to find time to self publish several works of fiction while semi planning my first ski holiday.

what are your best and worst job interview experiences?