i long to modernise scotland
to the revue of my imagination
to restrict actors to a single role
depiction in our nation
and making them legally change their name
to the one they portray in fiction
punishable by death
and claiming global jurisdiction
then i will reduce the toothbrushing time
from two minutes to 90 seconds
and thus sanction my cohort
to luxuriate over breakfast
then i will retire to
the camper-van i’ll embezzle
proud of my augmentation of
our cultural endeavour

this won’t make me especially popular but i don’t support scottish independence. i think we live in an age of empires. that sovereignty is meaningless in an era where the usa might invade greenland. i don’t think independence will make the average voter more powerful. we should accept our powerlessness and work towards global government within whatever existing supranational structures available to us.

but if independence does happen, i would like to be president and these are my main policy priorities.