my lover got offered a new job. this triggered many feelings, positive and negative. of course i was happy for her. but worried about the change in our lives. some jealousy too. it spurred me on a bit. i had been looking for a new position myself for a while, but i kept missing out at the final interview stage. and i was looking forward to another interview a few days hence. another disappointment it would turn out. in retrospect, i just wasn’t ready to move on. the mid life crisis was necessary and incomplete.