Tag: #melodrama

love is gentle

i think i make you feel
loved and desired
in a way you never have before
and it gives you pause
that it’s all just for pleasure
but you aren’t selfish
life without this
is a thankless shift
so i scratch my nails
down your back
gently
because it makes you feel nice
and it’s how you show someone
you love them
just forever
and whatever may be
that’s what i learned from my dad
when i was a little boy
and he would lightly scratch my back
when we watched tv
then i think
i should text dad back
that’s been five hours now
ah i’ll do it in the morning

when you attach to a lover, you choose to be dependent on the person you attach to. there’s no other way to do it. you give them your whole life and you ask them to be careful with it. it takes trust and belief to accept such vulnerability. it’s a complex and magical bond. it’s worth the inevitable pain.

the opposite of listening to madonna in decathlon

they pass the assisted
dying bill
will the lords giveth
the right to kill?
a vision: no,
you have to take it yourself
mr benn
a shock of mortality
please, call me n.n.
quite a memento mori
a lonely shiver

i have aphantasia but this was a pretty harsh, real feeling idea. i imagined the doctor passing me the pills in the little plastic cup. and telling me no, i have to take them myself. it gave me a blast of the feeling i had after i was diagnosed with emphysema. thankfully, i was undiagnosed about seven months later and celebrated by listening to madonna in decathlon.

as it turns out, the lords tooketh away the right to assisted suicide. antidemocratically waffled it away. i give them the respect they deserve.

alanis said it first so it’s ok

i go to bed early
i wake up late
french kissing won’t be tolerated
on this date
a collegiate day
leaves me rough
in my navel
looking for fluff
two roles away
on down the hill
wine and dine
(and sixty nine)
on a jagged little pill

this is mostly just silly, but i have been thinking a lot about belly button fluff recently. there used to always be fluff in my belly button if i had been wearing clothes that day. most days if not all that would be. but there is never ever fluff in it any more. i still usually wear cotton tee shirts. i still have a belly button. and i’ve been basically the same size for 30 years at this point. i don’t understand what has changed. if anyone knows, please let me know.

post-prandial down-dumpsy meek remainderman rain run

i was listening to a lot of podcasts about health. i’d had a couple of health scares. i ended up going down a few false paths. got misdiagnosed with various things. i wouldn’t recommend, it was all quite stressful. turned out i didn’t have copd or an inflamed prostate or whatever but i am autistic.

anyway. post-prandial means ‘after eating’. i kept hearing it in podcasts and i liked the way it felt to say it. i’m prone to echolalia. and i must have been feeling down in the dumps. must have went for a run. and meek remainderman is an ironic biblical reference.

friends, what we are dealing with here is melodrama.