my byline is a shyline
to project my insecurity
protect my anonymity
objectify my vanity
the car passed its m.o.t.
three minors, one of which
will strand me
unprepared on
a lane in the country
but that’s not for a while yet…
it still hasn’t happened yet, the stranding, but it’s a matter of time. the car got through its m.o.t. again this year. it picked up a dent somehow though.
on a tired day i can’t will myself a timetable
halfway to barrow
my heart a furnace
then pressed on from preston
the train’s delayed
and so is my wellness
for a few hours
because after work there’s a sauna
and free champagne
which reminds me. my new mantra:
never drink fizz in transit
it won’t be frigid and the bubbles will die
if i have to travel for work i at least want to go first class. i don’t like to fly if i can avoid it. but i find travel very stressful. especially if i’m on my own. i don’t have much wherewithal of sense of direction. but anyway, take it from me, on the train drink ipa, champagne is wasted. i think it’s ok on a plane though. weirdly.
a moneypiece redux
this one’s light
confirm and further
comes storm amy
on her birthday weekend
the train’s cancelled
so i’m sober and driving
and i watch her get
a birthday piercing
a trivial salesman
sells us wax jackets
though we buy them
somewhere else
cheaper
from a scoundrel
shame swelling around the cheeks
‘enjoy that jacket!’
the trivial salesman
encouraged me
and i felt bad
for going behind his back
until
i find out he was a liar
its a serviceable jacket
anyway
anyway
its the perfect time to buy a new rain jacket. well actually it is the most expensive time, but if you didn’t buy one in the spring sales, your hand may be forced. luckily my love and i bought new rain jackets last year and they are still waterproof. a big vote for wax jackets from me. despite the salesman, if not lying, clearly implying something that wasn’t true. anyway. it doesn’t matter. i’m over it. anyway.
asleep we are equal
toss and turn
before another sequel
one of only
four thousand weekfulls
some may work exposed to weather
whether lucky others’
weeks are peaceful
the labouring class
the majority of us
we all must
sudo apt-get out of bed,
by dint of caffeine
best be wakeful
de-enforcements comin’ in
to the office
try and stop us
half a day every fortnight or so
certainly satisfies my appetite
i just did my day in the office for the month. i do like that the office is proximate to many shops. and there is a gym next door so that’s quite useful. but then at the office i alternate between working hard at my desk and taking calls in a little phone booth thing. no advantage whatever over being at home. i guess it would be different if i worked as a road surfacer though.
toot and come on
for tutankhamen at the overflow
car parking
guy with 20 mini
sausage rolls
and a clockwise
tube of pringles
(review for risk and quality)
wearing the same trainers as me
says he works in sails
and other marine
accessories and spares
on the tube
(train tube)
(tube of pringles
on the clockwise
tube train)
this sounds like nonsense poetry but it all actually happened to me. speaking of which, my proudest achievement was the time i won british bulldogs at the youth club. i would have been 9 or 10. i managed to run twice past all the other boys. i didn’t even take the breather between runs that i was allowed per the usual rules. although i did jump on the chairs at the side of the hall the second time.
i didn’t rest and tried a third pass, but was finally captured by my peers.
jog on by the desire path
avoid the horse’s rear
badly i write
the fronted adverbial
pick acorns like a reindeer,
chuck a right
ariana throws her dummy at me
and theo puts her in the bin
two hours drive
to a twenty minute sauna
jog for a period
in a lancaster lane
flick it spin it pull it bop it
turn it off, put it in my pocket
this is techno, we can’t stop it
michael gove has a lot to answer for, but this particular bit was aimed at his reform of education in england. why are they telling children about fronted adverbials? caringly, nobody did about this.
veering into the giddy stratosphere
my plus one request gets a kb
leaving me in mild peril
overran sesh so i only ran four kloms
then was late and to the wrong fireside yawn
a tedious rant that also overran
now i’m late for dinner and sober
so i take the motor for a spin
down dark windy lanes to the train car swap
solutionize became my siren
elevate and inspire to escape my horizon
if it isn’t part of the solution
it tends to be precipitate
selena lookin woman in dumbstruck awe
and though it was nice to participate
when the cult disbands to autumn sun
i prefer to solve,
in search of my elixir.
there were some lovely days in september last year. i spent a lovely week on a dadaist retreat in the home counties. oh, and i was training for a 10k. the solution / precipitate bit is a reference to a toothpastefordinner comic from probably about 2008.
today…
was better than yesterday
though work is stretching me
into a vacuous husk
sealed up with snot
trapped in my head
with brain fog,
climbing to-do mountain
but it could be worse
imagine what yesterday
was like
this is the trilogy of four to the floor
the future before us
has been foretold
hand pumps gave us feudalism
we got capital from coal
techno determines
the rate of profit will fall
ah this reminds me – my august last year was even harder. last year i had a new job, and i was on my first ever family holiday with my girlfriend’s family. i was still picking up the basics of how to perform my role, while my project was continuing at pace without competent leadership. fortunately things are less stressful this year.
storm away with amy
on the weird work week
road trip
yet wherever i go
i’m always me
and find myself adverse to
reverse columbo,
so i hold my tongue
pathologically, i realise,
in the hotel power shower
my beetroot trauma
my painful blushing
the loss of limb control
the shame and the denial
too scared to ask
for the haircut i wanted
until i was about middle aged
nobody ever explains
the numbers
it’s not taught in school
i still hate barbershops
turn it up or turn it off
this is techno, watch it launch
continuing to describe my busy august. week one – move home. week two – move all my stuff. week 3 – trail run half marathon, seven hour drive each way – week 4 various odd jobs at the old place, dump runs, hand over the keys, week 5 – seriously wtf how long is this month?? go on holiday with my girlfriend’s family, and our other flatmate moves out so we have some living space in our home again.
kids tend to like me
my therapist said
because i am
weird in the head
i feel things intensify
or barely at all
but you know that i love
the slow, sad songs
a masked dancer pirouettes
down the cycle path
which is then autocorrected
to psychopath
i’ve seen her again since
wearing her cowboy hat
and i’m jealous but happy
that she has that
it didn’t occur to me
to wear an actual mask
an invisibility cape
draped on for the dance
and the thing about moving home is that, as well as organising your new home, you also have to sort out things with the old home. changes address. get a new doctor (best add that to my to do list). get all the last stuff out the flat, clean the place. and work / usual life commitments continue unabated.
