Tag: #selfharm

this isn’t a cover up, the red rose, the guerilla’s fist

trigger warning: self harm

well it was a cover up really. i had a bit of a mental health crisis when i was younger, in my late teens. one result of that was self harm scars on my arms. i know realise i was going through a period of autistic burnout on the transition from high school to the new expectations of early adulthood. an experience a lot of austic people go through.

i don’t know why it took me so long to realise i could tattoo over the scars. maybe i just wasn’t ready to move on. but then suddenly i needed to. to make them a polished part of my story. i love my arms now. until very recently, i guess i preferred just not to think about them. and the message they sent out about me, and my mental health.

i turn my snout at regret—the danger made it meaningful / while my teenaged self-destruction echoes on (and on)

TRIGGER WARNING…. self harm.

as an undiagnosed autistic teenager, you may not be surprised to learn i had a troubled time. social skills did not come naturally. i learn by making mistakes. to learn this way – you have to make the mistakes. i have a bad habit of breaking new things. delicate things that don’t belong to me.

i took the pain out on myself. i directed my meltdowns internally. i cut my arms to shreds. i abused substances.

last year i started getting all my self-harm scars covered with tattoos. and now, when i look at my arms, i no longer feel shame. i love my arms. nobody has arms like mine. they are perfect. they tell my story.

are tattoos important to you?