but i ask, what app is it on which i will find this so called authentication code, and chorus

krypton factor
authenticity
villification code
is this landing?
is this a story
that needs to be told?
chat gpt
thinks my poetry sucks
well, shucks
i was promised strong and stable

get tucked in for the gilet years
keep it strong and stable
despite hopes and fears
a pudding waits
at the end of the repast
let’s hope we get there
at last

remember the world before you needed to have a million apps on your phone? i had the original apple ipod touch. it was an incredible device. you had to jailbreak it to install any apps that weren’t the apple defaults. but it already had a web browser and email and that was enough to be perfectly useful.

remember the even better world before camera phones? there are so few photos of me prior to about 2008. and the world is probably better for that. man i hate having to pose for a photo. or stopping to take a photo. remember when taking a selfie used to be embarrassing?

man i am so old. anyway, off to take a mirror selfie to post to instagram. sorry for the grumpy. please take photos and use apps if you enjoy it. the phone has changed me too. now i merely lurk on flame wars on reddit rather than engaging in them on bb forums.

my airpod uneared into a drain so i chanced an upgrade

ah well. so it’s a year i’ve had these airpods now. returning from an early morning climbing session, my airpod escaped the ear canal and went for the drain instead. i presume anyway. i looked for a while then went to argos and bought new ones. can’t live an adequate life without headphones.

the king came with the bangers, we stayed for the ballads

in the 90s i used to take long coach trips. to france, italy, spain. one year, i must have been 7 or 8, for entertainment we got a documentary about elvis pressley. i was instantly obsessed. and then suddenly bereaved – my hero was dead before i even knew him. i cried. i listened to elvis tapes. i got a leather jacket. quite autistic, in retrospect.

i don’t listen to as much elvis these days. but i will always love the king. and if suspicious minds comes on the radio, i will give it my full attention every time.

to morrisons partick, hover on a ba’ sac/re-up on buddha and kippers

i met a pal at the supermarket and i think he mentioned he had recently had an injury to the testicles. and then i bought some kippers…

jerk foul, jerk fish, take the pineapple express

i had jerk fish and chips at a carribean themed restaurant and it was really nice. best fish and chips ever probably. there must have been a pineapple chutney or something. it reminded me of roots manuva’s witness (1 hope). and to avoid accusations of plagiarism, i named the verse ‘witness (1 dope)’, me being the dope eating the jerk and summoning the power of banana clan.

pant leg micturition is a viable system

so i have a pair of basketball shorts i wear to the gym that are too big for me, so i need to tie the waistband quite tight. but then i have to undo it if i want to pee. what a pain in the arse. then i realised i can just pee out the leg of the shorts. also useful on the bike or out for a trail run.

cold, wet, gravel, ice… and light new hoops.

sleepy as hell this morning after a big day on the bike in the hills in the sun yesterday. at this time last year i was riding my gravel bike in the some cold scottish forest in prep for a trip to gran canaria. and i was riding some new wheels.

earlier trip this year so yesterday i was lost on the road bike on a gravel track lost alone in lanzarote having a meltdown and shouting expletives.

an unexpected trip with treasured brethren / of which diane was not informed

late post today, i did a big bike ride with my pals here in lanzarote. i went off ahead by myself and got lost. had to cut across a gravel path. i was shouting fuck fuck fuck etc. saw an egret.

this line refers to a visit of my friends m. l. and s. l., who are brothers. and i didn’t tell my barber. i suppose ultimately she had no right to know. the image below is intented to evoque memories of diane from twin peaks. rip david lynch.

yet ah is how i start my whatsapps—it’s a bit more generous.

ah well yes. i can’t be typing hmm? at the start of all my text messages. i don’t know when i acquired the ah habit. it’s still going strong. ah thanks for this useful new information / ah that is funny / ah well isn’t that lovely / ah i suppose the funeral will be expensive / ah i just stepped on a wasp

hmm? a doubtful interjection. beginning my each phrase

i have a few noises i suppose. i must have been hmming a lot in early february. sadly i left last year’s diary at home this week. but noises come and go. i pick them up from odd places. echolalia from the television and jip like this.

a sort of deep throat sigh that i can’t explain verbally. a sympathetic groan. a palette cleanser – due to my autism, i struggle to speak if i haven’t anticipated the situation. words honk out wrongly. a long hmm gives me a little time to process maybe.

and in this case its a non-answer to the question from the previous line. i’m saying hmm but the image is of the aegean water i surely will drink.