i read about his suicide on teletext in the 90s / a poet tortured, bill teller of the apple orchard

i was listening to a lot of elliott smith, who i just found out was neurodivergent. i would have guessed that, to be honest.

his music is so hauntingly beautiful. he has a unique style. melancholy and melodic.

his life was short and tragic. he actually died in 2003, but i am pretty certain i did read about it on teletext.

i used to read planet sound on channel 4 teletext every day, and even wrote in. presumably it would have been email by then, but i have a vague memory of at least once having to actually post a letter.

one time i posted a hoax to the streets message board under the name ‘john hoaks’ claiming to have worked in a studio where mike skinner was doing a collab with chris martin of coldplay, and felt sort of embarrassed and guilty when i saw it reported as news on teletext a day or two later.

shilling for a limited europe, my identity fading, delaminated / not drunk, just exuberant. and well nourished

so I was listening to a lot of the streets. shilling for a limited europe is a reference to european bob, from weak become heroes, while also being an ironical statement about brexit. and then my identity fading, delaminated, again, a statement about brexit, but also a reference to the fake student id card i had in 200x that sometimes got me into nightclubs and sometimes quite literally delaminated in the bouncer’s hands. and then the drunk / well nourished bit is basically a cryptic reference to an in-joke i was in-on in high school.

do you still ruminate on in-jokes from your days of underage drinking?